I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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