Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm at about main and main street
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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