The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Enjoy the penises
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
