Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
