Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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