Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
my liver is dry heaving
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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