You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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