im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
