...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
