just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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