I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
