lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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