I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Rumble strips road head = magical
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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