Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
