Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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