How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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