I'm laying in your front yard are you home
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
