Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
