I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
