Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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