Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
