i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
