Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
