It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
