Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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