are you still at the devil's house?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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