Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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