Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
