I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
