i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
