I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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