I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
