soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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