Tell her she can't have a vagina
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
