Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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