I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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