I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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