someone threw a dead crab at me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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