I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
