I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Houston, we have a squirter
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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