sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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