It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i barfeds in our rink
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
