last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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