The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
