Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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