Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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