Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
