He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
