Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The power of my boobs compel you
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
