actually, I'm a sock model
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
